Touch The Rain - Jaythanfic - Chapter 31
Chapter 31 – Jay
I lay there and waited in silence.
I waited until he’d finished crying, until he’d fallen asleep before I got up. I slowly slid out from his arms, he groaned and rolled over, fast asleep. I sighed and pulled my boxers back on before walking across to the window. I pulled the thin curtain back and looked out, it was pitch black apart from the moon and a few stars. I dropped it back before going to the door, kicking our clothes out of the way as I went.
I walked down the stairs silently and sank down onto the sofa, I sighed and ran my hands across my face, it was wet with tears I hadn’t even realised I was crying.
I loved him so much.
I was going to break his heart and I couldn’t bear it.
I sobbed, only once, but quite loudly, I couldn’t stop myself. I clapped my hands to my mouth to stop the noise, bit my lip and looked up, waiting for the sound of his footsteps but he obviously hadn’t heard me.
I lay down and pressed my face into the pillows on the sofa and cried, because I knew he couldn’t hear me.
I managed to stop myself after a few minutes and took deep breaths to calm myself down.
I got up from the sofa, rubbing my eyes and knelt onto the floor, reaching under the chest of drawers in the corner of the room. They weren’t supposed to be there but we moved them when we decorated and never bothered moving them back.
I grabbed my notebook from under them and scribbled something down quickly before pushing it back. Nathan didn’t know it was there, he didn’t even know I had it.
I sat up and ran my hands through my hair before pushing myself back up. I climbed back up the stairs as quietly as I could and went back into our room and shut the door.
He looked better when he was asleep, happier, less worried. I sighed and climbed back into the bed and crawled into his warm arms pressing my face against his bare chest. I took deep breaths reminding myself of his smell, he smelt like home. Lying in his arms felt like home.
I loved him so much.
I let his heartbeat soothe me into my first peaceful sleep in a while.